The one thing every man absolutely has to have before
everything else from his woman is not what most people would expect. Well that too, but really, it is further down the list than you might think. What every man needs from his woman first and foremost is respect. He needs it
when he is with other men and he absolutely needs it when he is with his
woman. Whether you are trying to
negotiate a business deal with a man or trying to get a greater expression of
love from one, this is the key. Men
instinctively know this. If a man
disrespects another man he knows that he had better be prepared for things to
get physical. Men absolutely will not
tolerate disrespect from another man.
Every man wants to be a “knight in shining armor” for his
woman. When you first met your man that
is probably how you saw him, and that is what he responded too. Now the shine
has worn off a bit. When a woman allows
her man to think that she finds other men superior in any way to him it has a
profound effect on the relationship, even if that “other man” is a fictional
character or celebrity you will never meet. To give your attention to another
man, fictional, celebrity or a real life person, is the ultimate disrespect in
his eyes. To ask another man to do
something for you that your man should be doing for you is a close second. For
you to not recognize what he IS doing for you (no matter how rare) to him looks
also like disrespect.
If you don’t think having a celebrity crush should have any
impact on your relationship just remember how you feel when you see your man
drooling over photoshopped images of women you could never compete with. Heck, the women in the photoshopped pictures
could not compete with themselves. Photoshop,
smoke, mirrors, and duct tape do not reality make.
It will do you little good to invest time, energy, and
effort in your relationship and then to be critical of him, even in private.
Even if your criticism is justified, it makes no difference. In his eyes he now knows that he is not your
“hero” and that will affect how he CAN respond to you and your needs. For you
to be critical (read disrespectful) of him in front of others or with others,
no matter how casual you think you are being will only continue to silently
break down your relationship. Do it long
enough and you will not even have the dying embers of what your love once
was. You may still be IN a relationship,
but it will not be the relationship either of you want.
Your guy may not be the “hero” you want him to be, but you
can be sure that HE wants you to see him that way.
During the 40’s and 50’s many novels, movies and animations
had a similar story line; “damsel in distress, knight in shining armor to the
rescue.” The ending was always the same,
damsel and knight silhouette against a setting sun. The woman says, “my hero” and it fades to
black and the credits roll. It seems writers have tapped into something
visceral in the female psyche and in
every man’s need to achieve “hero” status in the eyes of his woman.
Committed relationships are complex and the path taken will
never be just “one” thing. But, regardless or any other issues you need to work
on, if you miss this one you will never have the relationship you both deserve.
Start here, and then work your way
through the other issues.
_____________________________
© 2015 Herald’s Corner
