The Biggest Mistake A Man Can Make

The biggest mistake a man can make is thinking that providing for his family is the same as taking care of them.

You may know the name Rush Limbaugh.  In 2015 his daily syndicated radio talk show every weekday had an audience of over 13 million listeners.  He was and is the most popular radio broadcaster in America.  He had achieved success by any standard of measure…. except for one.

Sixty eight year old Rush Limbaugh has been married four times.  If current rumors are anything to go by he will soon also be divorced four times.  His other wives divorced him complaining they had no connection with him.  They felt alone. They felt they had nothing in common with him.  His current wife according the rumor mill appears very happy enjoying the lifestyle that a half billion dollars makes possible, but she is having her emotional and physical needs met with other, younger men.  Go figure?

I once heard Rush Limbaugh talk about why he married and divorced so often. Paraphrased loosely he said;

Women seem to be attracted to you for who you are, your success, and the lifestyle that you can provide for them. They seem to really be happy in the “courting” stage.  Then they marry you, and the first thing they start to complain about is all the time and energy that you must devote to that very thing that makes all that success and that lifestyle they enjoy so much possible. Then, they want a divorce, and some of your success for themselves so as to continue in that lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

With three marriages behind him, and a fourth on the brink, Rush still doesn’t get it.  He still doesn’t understand all the anxiety his fourth wife is giving him could be avoided.  The solution is so simple, yet he can’t see it.  He is trying everything EXCEPT the one thing that would actually work.

When you make your efforts to provide monetarily your only focus, it will all be for nothing.  The people that you love will never know it.  They will feel alone, empty, and abandoned, even as you share the same bed. 

I was one such man.  I did not have the success that Rush Limbaugh had.  I didn’t have his lifestyle to offer. All I did was devote almost every waking hour to work and study.  Failure was a constant fear.  I became a miserable person to be with. I forgot there were others who needed me to be there for them.  I failed to recognize that my wife and family had other needs that I was completely unaware of.  I needed to be in their lives every day. The fact that I was working so hard “for them” was totally lost on them.  They didn’t care.  That wasn’t what they needed or wanted.

I was blessed with a woman that picked up all the many loose ends I left, and stayed with me through all of my stupidity.  I was that man who did not realize that taking care of those I loved was not only about providing for them, but more so about being there FOR them.  Make no mistake. Providing for your family is crucial. That is important. Not doing so is equally destructive.  Just don’t make the mistake that I did in thinking you have time to make up for that later.  Unlike my story, you may discover, as Rush Limbaugh has, that your woman will not wait for you to notice her as the reason you are doing it all.