Never Change Anything For A Man???

 I have rarely heard a man say it, but I constantly hear women repeating the above phrase until it echos in my head.

"A man should love me the way I am". "It's my hair, I will wear it as I please, he has no say in it". "It's my body, I'll wear what I want". "If he has a problem with anything I do that is HIS problem. He will just have to learn how to deal with it".  Any of this have a familiar ring?

Committed relationships are far more than physical appearance .... but it is delusion to think the physical is irrelevant.  In fact it is insanity.

But.... to all the women who say they should NEVER change anything about themselves FOR A MAN, I say.... you are living in an alternate reality!  How MANY relationships would survive if we told men "you don't EVER have to change ANYTHING for a woman"?  "You do what makes YOU feel good"?  Now I understand why the relationship failure rate is all but guaranteed.

 Many years ago when I was first married .... in the early days .... before calendars, I sported a rather dapper mustache. I had that for over ten years. I thought it made me look quite distinguished.

One day, (after 4 kids) I leaned in for a kiss and my wife pulled back and went "ewwh". I said, "what's the matter, you don't like my mustache"? "NO !" she says, "I hate it" . I said, "what"? "After 10 years this is the first I am hearing if it"? (I then wondered what other "secrets" she was keeping from me.)  That night I shaved it off. I was then, clean shaven for the next 20 years.

A little over a year ago I got lazy and didn't feel like shaving. It appears my facial hair is grey now. One day, as I was getting ready to clean it up, my wife says, " don't shave it off". "I kinda like the 'professor look". So.... as you can tell by my profile picture ... I still have it. I get a LOT of face touching these days that I never used to get ... so I am keeping it for sure.

I have a wardrobe my wife picks for me.  She buys all my clothes and almost always vetos my choices.  When I see something I want to buy, she says, "YOU don't want that one," "YOU want this one, don't you think"?  When i tell her I am going out to buy a new pair of jeans she says; "no your not.. you can't buy jeans by yourself... wait for me to go with you". Should I be upset she wants to be there when I get new jeans?  When we are going out I ask her what she wants me to wear.  We usually try to co-ordinate.

My goal in life is to make this woman not just love me.... she will do that anyway... I want her to like me too. The name of the game is "Maximum Attraction"..... and that is what I go for.

Lately she has been jokingly commenting on my expanding "tummy line". I am not sure exactly how yet, but I am going to do something about that.  First, it is not healthy for me.  Second, I know it will make me more attractive to her. So am I doing it for her, or for me?

When you realize that what you do for your "Significant Other" .... IS .... doing it for YOU, you are on your way to a better relationship that will ultimately be your happiness in life.

No matter how hard you try, no person can be truly happy if their relationship sucks.  Instead of focusing on what you don't have to do, choose to focus on what you CAN do.