What I Learned In My 45th Year of Marriage

WHEN I started out on my journey of married life I was a novice. I expected “adjustments”, “compromises” and lot of attention to be invested into the relationship. I was blessed with a woman that made that easy. I was years into this marriage “thing”, still wondering how I got her to say “yes”. I was concerned she may yet
 change her mind. I was pretty sure she would never leave me. I was more concerned that one day she would have a moment of clarity and think that she had made a bad life choice. I was more concerned she would wake up every day and wonder how life could have been different “if only”. I was constantly afraid that although she may never say it that she would feel she could have done better. Now 45 years later, I am pretty sure she could have, but so glad she didn’t.

What have I learned in my 45th year of marriage that I didn’t know earlier? I learned that to maintain a happy vibrant healthy relationship WITHIN the marriage requires hard work…every day… you never get to that “plateau” where you can rest on what you did or had yesterday …. NEVER! The “work” you will yet put into the relationship will never be less than what you have already put into it.

When I was young I worried about things that could compromise our relationship and undermine the marriage itself. Today after 45 years I have completely different fears. Today my biggest fear is that if we just “coast” on what we had in the past, our future will be that we become JUST the “best of friends” and “great roommates” with a shared history. For a marriage to remain more than that after time has done its work STILL requires a lot of communication and a lot of “work”. It NEVER ends….. until one of you does.
__________________________________________________________________

©  Herald's Corner   http://mrheraldscorner.blogspot.ca/

Image courtesy of [Ambro] at FreeDigitalPhotos.net